More Tales from The Green

Back on a sporting theme, I've seen a couple of stories in the last week which demonstrate just how vital it is for us to have more people playing golf. Over in Avila yet another area of woodland has been devastated to make way for an urbanisation of several thousand homes and its now inevitable golf courses. There is only one problem, the inhabitants of the nearest village (only 150 of them) are entirely reliant on water brought in from outside as the already severely depleted local supply is contaminated with arsenic. I'm sure a solution will be found to stop the golfers dropping dead on the first hole. No such problems at the private Real Club Puerta de Hierro in Madrid, as the city administration has generously agreed to invest 800,000 euros on setting them up with a guaranteed water supply. Anybody who thinks this is not an appropriate use of public funds can move to Avila....or anywhere else except Madrid.

The golf course is deserted....

I have a pitch for a Hollywood movie, but before I get on the plane to Los Angeles I thought I'd try it out here first. It's the year 2040. A clean, wholesome looking young professional couple dressed in matching polo shirts are discussing their plans for the evening. "What shall we do tonight darling?" says one. "It's so lovely outside, let's get the clubs out and have another round of golf". Happily they make their way down to the lush green golf course that lies just inside the heavily guarded perimeter of their urbanisation. Meanwhile, not far away in the ruins of the city formerly known as Madrid, groups of private "security" guards roam the delapidated streets. They are paid to hunt down and exterminate the few remaining people who have had problems adapting to the lifestyle made compulsory 25 years earlier by twin headed hydra and President for Life Aguirre-Gallardón. Stopping by a dusty, sunbaked concrete gully to rest for a while, one security guard says to the other "what do you think this was for?". " I'm not really sure", replies his companion, "although they say a river ran through it".