South of Watford has had exclusive access to a recording of a meeting involving two strategists from the Spanish Socialist Party (PSOE), lets call them Pérez and García. They were holding a meeting on how to mobilise their party's voters for Sunday's elections.
Pérez: "Things are a bit quiet with the campaign, I'm worried that we are not going to get out voters out on Sunday."
García: "Yeah, we need someone to inject a bit of life into it to motivate our supporters."
Pérez: "Something that scares them a bit."
García: "What about....what about getting that guy who used to be Prime Minister to do something."
Pérez: "What, Felipe Gonzalez?"
García: "Noooo, nobody even remembers who Gonzalez is these days. I mean the one who came after, with the moustache and the long hair."
Pérez: "Oh Aznar. But he's on the other side."
García: "Well exactly, we need to get him out to frighten our people a bit."
Pérez: "He certainly frightens me. What is he up to these days anyway?"
García: "He hangs out in that pseudo foundation they created for him to play in when he's not pretending to work for Rupert Murdoch."
Pérez: "So how do we get him to do what we want?"
García: "We need to rattle the bars of his cage a bit. Watch this."
He picks up the phone and dials a number - "Is that the FAES? Can you put me through to José Maria Aznar please".........there is a pause, then suddenly he shouts "Peace Process!" and slams the phone down.
García: "If I do that every hour for the rest of the day that should be enough to get him going"
Pérez: "Then he'll come out and say something stupid like that thing about drinking and driving the other week?"
García: "Something offensive, hopefully. If we could get him to insult our voters, by calling them all ETA supporters or something similar; that would be great."
Pérez: "Yeah, just what we need."
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