Thursday, December 22, 2011

Mariano, Pan Y Vino

The shroud of secrecy that normally covers one of the most mysterious regimes in the world was lifted briefly yesterday. The accession to power of Kim Jong Rajoy in Spain and his announcement of the new Politburo have excited foreign observers who were not expecting the man now known as the "Dear Leader At Last" to make any public pronouncements. He normally doesn't.

The official party organ, PPravda, has greeted the new leadership with enthusiasm and furiously condemned the legacy of Kim Jong Rajoy's predecessor. Little is known about Kim Jong Rajoy's rise to power, he is believed to worked his way up through the ranks largely by being extremely difficult to remove from any position that he has been given and by being absolutely loyal to the Greatest Leader Kim Jong Aznar.

The task facing the new leader is a formidable one, his country faces potential bankruptcy as a result of the ruinous and semi-clandestine programme of banking fusion pursued by the regime. Information about the programme is strictly controlled but it is believed to involve smaller banks being hurled together inside a collision chamber, the fusion being achieved thanks to lubrication involving vast amounts of public money and the combustion of essential public services.

Far away from Madrid's special diplomatic shops with their showy displays of expensive imported consumer goods, there are reports of deep economic crisis from around the country. Kim Jong Rajoy, in his first speech to the Central Committee as leader, promised the nation that he would now be calling bread "bread", and wine "wine". This cryptic remark is interpreted to mean possible significant price hikes for these important Spanish staples.

Economic policy is in the hands of a group of dogmatic hardliners who refuse to accept responsibility for the crisis. They don't get out much and therefore make no attempt to assess whether their policies are working. Much of the blame for the crisis has instead been apportioned to those few groups of workers who still have jobs. It is said that some of these still enjoy clearly outmoded privileges such as time off at weekends, a limit on working hours and even the occasional holiday. It is expected that the new leadership will move swiftly to ensure that such inefficient practices are eliminated. A long, cold winter is expected.


moscow said...

You are in good form as ever....but instead of Malawi or Borneo, why not go for a "randonnee" on the hills of the Korean Peninsula (Northern side) next time? I am convinced you would meet lots of like-minded souls over there.

I'd just would like to point out that the new cabinet is composed of members of the moderate wing of the PP. El Pais called it "centrista". I counted only one religious fanatic. Justice is in the hands of Gallardon, the wet one...and health in the hands of a divorced lady. Abortion, women&gay rights will most probably not figure high on the agenda.

Graeme said...

Wow, a divorcee in the government and we have a modern, centrist PP! The problem with the moderate wing of the PP is that it wouldn't necessarily be seen as such if it wasn't for the existence of an even more ultra flank to the right. Also, the question of whether they personally practice what they practice what they preach is always an open one. We'll have to wait and see on social issues, but on economic issues we already know that they will be far from moderate, do the sums on Rajoy's promised tax cuts vs. his promised spending cuts and you'll know what I mean. As for North Korea, if Rajoy became PP leader by a process more democratic than that used to choose Kim Jong Il's successor then I'm not aware of it.

Lee said...

Look who's messing with the abortion law: